Why does the dog almost die whenever I’M looking after her?

Last summer I took the dog to the cottage with me. Jay couldn’t come that weekend so I was on dog detail for 2 whole days by myself. No big deal, I can take care of animals. While my Mom drove the way home from the cottage I let the dog sit on my lap, which is a bit of an odd thing to do with a 50lb dog but I figured I’m in charge, I can do what I want. The dog put her head out of the window and smelled the wind. Awww, that’s so cute. Now I don’t know how it started but the window started closing on her neck! I panicked and remember thinking about whether to push or pull the button and since there was a chance she stood on the button I pulled up and didn't let go. The next few moments were a blur but I had my finger on the window control button and so did my Mom until my Mom screamed LET GO and put the window down for my dog who has not had air supply for 10 seconds and has heard a frenzy of panicked screams. (TJ was in the back seat, screaming also). The dog laid her head down quietly on my lap and looked at me with a look of, I am not so sure of your intentions and you and I are going to have a deal with some trust issues. After a few minutes she retreated to the backset where she laid for the rest of the trip with her ass end pointing at me. When we got home, she displayed an extra bit of excitement for Jay than usual. She only looked at me as if to say, you are lucky you got me back to my real master.

This weekend I was left with her for only 20 minutes. We were outside by the lake, I was watering gardens and planters and getting ready to wash the car. I checked on her every few minutes, I’d call her name and then yep, she’s still milling about, playing with her soccer ball. I’d sometimes say, ‘who’s a cute dog with the soccer ball?”. Then a few minutes later I checked again and no response. I check the usual places, the other side of the house, the neighbors break wall. No dog. I call a little louder and with a little more urgency and no dog. I think, I better check the water. There she is, about 50 metres out. With that fucking soccer ball and it’s not so cute anymore. I start screaming her name in that same frenzied panic from last summer but the dog wants to bring her soccer ball in and can’t. She can’t figure out that she should just push it towards the break wall with her nose. Instead she wants to get her mouth up over the ball and carry it back. I strip down to my bathing suit, and dive into water that feels like it is hovering around the freezing point. By the time I did that the dog has reluctantly left the ball, gone back for the ball, left the ball, gone back for the ball and is now leaving the ball again and return to shore. She’s so tired from all the swimming and kicking herself up over the ball that her whole body is sinking under water with only her nose and eyes above water. We both climb onto the rocks and sit quietly. The dog slowly looks me in the eye, licks my cheek a little and I’m sure she was saying, ‘Thanks for coming out to save me and I forgive you for last year’. I kissed her nose and said “I won’t tell Jay if you don’t”.