Tuesday, November 14, 2006


When I was young there were numerous little kids around. I have 4 cousins from my 2 aunts, 3 girls and the youngest is a boy. There was a lot of togetherness when we were little. I was 11 years old when my youngest cousin was born. It was the year I was first left alone for 3 hours on a Saturday while my Mom ran some errands and only one year away from taking the certified babysitters course. The course that certifies a pre-teen to officially and undisputably be IN CHARGE.

I have very fond memories of that time with my youngest cousins. I mean in a nurturing sort of way. My other 2 cousins were closer to my age and they didn't need me, nor did I need them. When they arrived they were more of a nuisance and throwing a wrench into the well-laid plans of total family domination. I have very fond memories with them as well, but in a sisterly, grew up together kind of way. The family didn't see my nurturing ways as a possible warning sign for teenage pregnancy but rather took advantage of the perks of a demented diaper changing 12 year old. In the following years my family took care of that pesky teenage pregnancy issue using the a-baby-will-ruin-your-life tactic. Don't judge, it worked!

Babies have been the topic of conversation around this house for, well for more than a year now. I always thought that I was going to be the one that would one day declare: you better apply for life insurance because I am going off the pill this month! Instead the declarations around this place have been: I am not going off the pill and there is nothing that you or your parents can pay me with that will make me!!!

Problem is, I am starting to stop people in grocery stores to ask if I could just get a little whiff of their precious, sleeping infant heads. I went out to shop for a new pair of jeans last week and spent 45 minutes in Baby Gap. I can't describe how or why I so desperately want to give birth to new life and spend the next 20 years wondering what the return policy is, but I do.


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