Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What have I been up to lately?

... these didn't actually make it to Christmas as I hoped because we've told everyone. Well that's not true but I don't think anyone is reading anyway.

November 11, 6:00pm-ish

I suddenly realize my period is late. I've been waiting for it patiently for a couple of days now and figured it was a long cycle but now, now I realize I'm really late. I also realize that I have to pee so I plan to hold it, drive to Shoppers Drug Mart for the second time today and buy a test. When I returned Jay's Dad and his uncle are at the house but I now have to pee really bad. I could just pee and miss the opportunity to test or I could test with them in the house. I tested and the line instantly turned pink. Holy crap. I try to be calm and collected and nonchallantly go to the living room and wait out the visit. Luckily they left fairly quickly and I was able to ask Jay if he could see the line. THE LINE THAT WAS HOT PINK.

November 14

The best part about finding out has been the last couple of mornings when I walked out of the bathroom and Jay lifts his sleepy head and grins at me. And it's not because I'm naked.

November 20, 8:40am

I forgot to feed the cats today. When I got up to go to the kitchen for a moment Iza meowed at me and I said "Oh no, I forgot to feed you today. I'm a bad Mommy." Then about a second later I realized the obvious and I said, "I'm going to be a real Mommy soon". Then I had a heart attack.

November 22, 9:00am

Oh the nausea, indigestion, gassy tummy... and you can't take Pepto Bismol. Crap. Tums are ok but not great. Alka Seltzer is a definite no. Crap. I have read that many, MANY, people choose to eat peanut butter if they don't have a history of peanut butter allergies in their family. I have an unopened jar in the cupboard but something is preventing me from opening it. I kind of don't feel like it and my doctor said I shouldn't eat it. Well, it's there and I read that peanut butter on whole wheat creackers are a good snack for dealing with the crappy way I've been feeling. My doctor also said no to aspartame but I'm having that in moderation because water can be so boring after a while.

November 22, 10:40am

Ok, today is much much better. After the last 2 days I thought I was doomed for 6 or 7 weeks of all day sickness. Last night I read that you should eat small snacks every hour or so. It's 10:40 and I've eaten 3 times already today. I like this solution but I may soon be a blimp. I guess the trick is control, counting the calories and making them REALLY small snacks. Today I picked up chocolate milk. Why didn't I think of this most wonderful thing sooner. Mmmmmm.

November 23, 12 noon

I fell asleep on the couch at 9pm last night. I didn't just drift off, I was awake one minute and then completely passed out. I was so out cold that my face fell forward onto my hand. When Jay woke me up about 20 minutes later I had a painful hand print across my face. The nausea sucks. I want to say that I'm not cut out for this but I know there are lots of people who live with pains and discomfort every day, I've got to suck it up. It's lunchtime and I'm ready for bed.

November 30, 9:30pm

The spawn has given me 4 full days nearly symptom free and thank goodness for that. The symptoms that have stuck around is the exhaustion, insanely weird dreams, sore boobs, mild indigestion and peeing 2 times every night. This morning the nausea returned and I blame the fact that I was not so diligent in drinking water yesterday. I have to wonder if being completely distracted from doing anything other than surf the net for cute baby websites is also a symptom.

December 5, 2007

This one little thing I'm doing right now, this little pregnancy thing, it's been the most stressful thing I've ever done and I don't even have bad sickness. I still have really mild symptoms that have been coming and going. Last Friday I went to the Raptors game and stayed up until 11:30 for the first time in a few weeks. I don't know if that is what altered my schedule or energy level but I've been able to stay wake until about 10:00 for the past few nights. It's good but that's where the stress comes in, I wonder if I'm losing symptoms because whatever is inside me is no longer alive.? Some days my boobs are feeling inflated and discoloured but the next day they seem back to normal. Panic ensues. Everyone will say just relax and enjoy. Easy to say but not easy to do so now I think my only option is to worry in silence. Tomorrow morning I have an ultra sound and I'm prepared for any news they give me. I hope that they find a little kidney bean-sized, tailed little alien with a heartbeat in there.

December 10, 3:23pm

I saw the heartbeat so we are on for baby growing! I'm still in awe of the worry and concern that I have for the success of this little thing that's been leaching off of me for the last 6 weeks. On Friday we were at the 8 week mark, which means the eggs was fertilized about 6 weeks ago. Pregnancy does come with perks and right now when I tell laypeople that I'm 8 weeks and they think I've been doing this amazing thing for 2 months... I will let them because one of my symptoms is called "milking it" and I'm not referring to the new! large! breasts! that I'm growing.

Yesterday we made the decision to tell my family a little earlier than planned. The experts say to wait until after the 12th week but things came up and we decided to share the news. I can't believe that I didn't know how to bring it up at dinner last night? Finally someone told us to spill the secrets that I'd been whispering to Jay all through dinner. The secrets I was saying was really pleads for him to tell because I didn't know what to say. Well that helped and I was finally able to say it but for some reason saying it out loud made me cry and at the same time my Grandma, Aunt, Cousins and my Mom (who has known for a month) all began to cry. This kid already has a whole lot of love and it's very own cheering section. The family sat around the dining table and talked about how I feel and what the future is going to bring Jay and I as well as all of us as a family. When we got in the car we decided we had to call my Sister. I called her and asked if she preferred Auntie Kerri or just Kerri... I think she said "no way that's so awesome, I'm crying a little". More loving tears. Then she said "Definitely just Kerri, I'm not an Auntie!". Kerri and I talked for a little more than an hour about where babies come from and what will happen to my body in the coming months. Yesterday was a lovely day.

December 18, 2007

I can no longer eat. Everything I eat makes me feel like I've gorged on some massive meal and I need to undo my pants. I do actually need to undo my pants most of the time. I can't believe I don't fit into some of my clothes. This can't be right. What happened to "most people don't show until 4 months"? I think I'm just getting fat... in the tummy.


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